a collection of thoughts

okok, i know a post-exam post is long overdue.. but i've been trying to collect enough worthwhile thoughts to blog ok.. i don't think i have yet, anyway... but here goes:

1. i've realised that i can get very hyper after exam papers. as in, for a couple of hours after sitting for a paper, the adrenaline will still be pumping and i'll feel very alert and my brain is very active and absorbent, even though i might not have slept very much the day before. of course, i'll feel like crashing later, but not that soon anyway, so one of the best times to study is right after an exam paper.
   


2. its pretty appalling how much stuff i manage to accumulate in my pgp room in one semester. its terrible -- the sense of having enough space to store stuff is so deceiving. now i have to clear out my cupboard at home just to stuff in all the clothes i currently wear, and clear out my filing cabinets and shelves to make space for all my notes and books. piling stacks of stuff all over the place is no longer an option.
   


3. it just tears me apart, seeing people i care for hurting, and not be able to do anything about it. how its just not possible to reach through the computer screen and give them a real hug and tell them its ok. and its even worse when the words to say just won't come out, because i'm afraid to say the wrong thing. and sometimes, in the cases that make me want to cry, it feels so helpless when i can't even speak of the one thing i know for sure will give them comfort, the one thing i know for sure will give them reason to climb up again time after time, because that is the one thing that gives us all, finally, a real and worthwhile reason to live. because all this ends up as pious preaching, repetitive, empty words that don't mean anything to them, because they do not understand.
   

Psalm 34

Of David. When he pretended to be insane before Abimelech, who drove him away, and he left.

¹ I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.

² My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

³ Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

⁹ Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.

¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

¹² Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,

¹³ keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.

¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;

¹⁶ the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;

²⁰ he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

²² The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

the Lord gives refuge to all who seek him, and the faces of all who look to Him are always radiant. but don't take me for my word, prove it yourself! for how will you know that the Lord is good, if you won't even take a taste and see?

tell me its ok...

Chapter 18: The Open Economy

The sum of the current account deficits of all the countries in the world should be equal to zero: One country's deficit should show up as a surplus for the other countries taken as a whole. This is not, however, the case in the data: If we just add the published current account deficits of all the countries in the world, it would appear that the world is running a [measured] large current account deficit. Some economists speculate that the explanation is unrecorded trade with the Martians. Most others believe that mismeasurement is the explanation.

Quote of the day courtesy of Olivier Blanchard, author of Macroeconomics (International Edition).
(emphasis mine... shouldn't it be Interplanetary Edition instead?)

1st chapter down.

hmm... i've nothing much to blog about really. realised i only blog when i'm really bored and/or down. so when bored i post blogthings. when down i rant. now i'm in a kindof bored and down going up mood. so i don't really have much to blog about, and since i'm studying i'm not actually THAT bored (1st chapter only mah), so no blogthings either.

things have been... ok. everything's been kinda balancing out. some stuff is bleah. some stuff is happy. so everything ends up overall -ok-.

sometimes i wonder if i rely on people too much. can't do anything alone. talking makes me happy. just not talking to myself, obviously. being quiet also makes me happy. only obviously when i'm not alone. being around people makes me happy. just not too many.

maybe thats why i'm always on msn, whether or not i feel like talking. its the perfect kinda situation where you know pple are there. but you don't have to be with them. just nice for the closet anti-social me.

then again, its not just anyone who can really make me feel better. i suppose.