wanna go cycling?

Since it's Valentine's Day, I thought I'd post something I came across some time ago on Joanna's blog , which I feel is quite appropriate for the season...

"Being together with someone else is often mistakenly believed to be a so-called 'higher state of being' or higher status than the state of being single. This is not true. It does not make you happier or more able to deal with life than the average single person (although it has been proven that marriage does increase the lifespan of the guy). It also does not mean that you are more loveable or in any way superior to the average single person. What it IS is it's a lot harder than being single. It has its advantages as well as disadvantages, of course. Hence the bicycle analogy.

What it IS is like going cycling on a tandem bicycle rather than an ordinary single-person bicycle. Because, of course, life is like a journey that everyone must undertake. Bits of it are through nice straight roads, bits of it through sunny countryside, bits of it (rather long bits if you ask me) are through rocky dark hills and valleys with nasty sharp bits to cut you if you fall, bits of it are on hair-raising cliff edges etc etc etc, you get the idea. Let's imagine that everyone is doing the trip on bicycles.

When two people get together, they trade in their single bicycles for a tandem bicycle. It's slower than a single bike, it's less agile, it falls down more easily and negotiates bends more clumsily, and it takes time getting used to being able to synchronise with your cycling partner. It's less efficient - you both have to work a lot harder to cover the same distance. You won't be able to spend as much time with your friends on single bikes as you used to because sometimes you're just concentrating on not falling off, and other times you just can't keep up with them.

You can't just hop off anytime you want either, and you have to both agree on where you want to go because you'll need your cooperation to get anywhere. You can't afford to do things like showing off by cycling without your hands, either, because now you have too much responsibility to do the tricks that you're good at. And you quickly learn to develop a lot more patience and capacity for sorrow and being hurt than you'd ever need if you were on a single bike.

But on the other hand, now you have company on the journey. You have someone to whom you can point out interesting things on the way, who can laugh at jokes with you and admire the scenery with you. (Of course, people on single bikes have the company of other people on single bikes to do all this with, except I suppose it's to a different degree.) And when it's cold and dark and rocky you have someone to go through it with you so that things aren't so scary. And if you fall down, you both get hurt together, but I guess you can help each other up too. I think the important bit is where you can enjoy each other's company. Because that's what will ultimately make the journey more bearable... and what will make the switch from single bikes to a tandem one a logical decision.

I suppose everyone has to ask themselves if it's worth it."